Growing up my nickname was Eeyore. My mantra was thanks for noticing me. Bet it won't surprise you that I have middle child syndrome.
Middle child syndrome is a condition in which children born in the middle experience feelings of emptiness, inadequacy and jealousy. It is also characterized by low self-esteem and extreme introversion, sometimes even leading to psychotic behavior.
I was born in the early 70's and raised in a spare the rod, spoil the child household. I'm proud to say that I'm a wooden spoon survivor. I was never my mother's favorite. Never smart enough or pretty enough. I spent years seeking approval. This feeling of failure touched every aspect of my life starting from a very young age.
Starting in September all I wanted to do was watch television and stay in bed. Summer was over which meant I was back to work. It felt like I was running on an empty tank. The holidays and a kitchen fire threw me into a real funk. I didn't want to do anything. It felt like I would starting sobbing at any minute. What I didn't want to face was that my "happy" pill was no longer effective.
So now what...
I have started a new medication hoping it will relieve some of the symptoms. I might start journaling and looking into therapy.
“The nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops. Eventually.”
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